Cheating in relationships — personal or professional — is some of the most toxic shit you can do. And let me tell you, that’s just not me. This post isn’t about me sitting on a moral high horse; it’s about unpacking why cheating is so damn frustrating and why people do it in the first place. It’s gross, it’s unnecessary, and frankly, it’s a sign of low-level thinking.
Before I start. This blog post will piss a lot of fucking people off.
The idea for this post came from two moments that hit me back-to-back. First, I’m talking to a friend in a hot tub and she was saying how her trouble with men are the type she likes are generally fuckboys (honestly this is survivor bias). Then, later, I see a LinkedIn post by Sam Parr that basically says the most successful people he knows are also the most honest. That contrast hit me hard. Like, how the hell can men be universally viewed as untrustworthy pigs, while the truly elite are thriving on honesty? Are people just blind to the bigger picture?
I went down the rabbit hole on this one, at this point I think I have some form of autism. Why do people cheat? Why is it so common? And most importantly, what does it say about the way they think? That’s when I stumbled across this YouTube video called Levels by h0e_math.
It breaks down this framework for human development, pulling from heavy hitters like Jean Piaget and Maslow. The gist? People act based on where they’re at in their mental and emotional growth. And a lot of people just aren’t there yet.
Cheating Is a Low-Level Move
Let’s start with the basics. In this video, h0e_math (honestly ignore the name, this is very solid information) explains these stages of thinking, and cheating fits perfectly into the lower levels. Here’s a quick breakdown:
Level 1 (Survive): This is caveman mode. You’re just trying to get by, focused on your own feelings and urges. No thoughts about anyone else.
Level 2 (Connect): You start to recognize other people have needs too, but you’re mostly thinking, “What can I get out of this?” Cheating happens here when someone’s all about short-term gratification without caring how it fucks up someone else’s life.
Level 3 (Control): You’re now aware of relationships and how to manipulate them for your benefit. This is where cheating gets sneaky—it’s calculated, but still selfish as hell.
People stuck in these levels cheat because they’re thinking small. They’re playing checkers, not chess. It’s all about immediate wins, not the long-term consequences.
Higher Thinking Means Less Cheating
Now, when you hit Level 4 (Belong) and above, things start to shift. You begin to understand other people on a deeper level. You get that your actions have ripples, and cheating doesn’t just hurt the person you’re with—it poisons the entire relationship. At higher levels, you stop thinking, “What can I get right now?” and start asking, “What’s the best thing I can build?”
By Level 5 (Objective Observation) and beyond, cheating doesn’t even make sense anymore. You’re too busy playing the long game, building trust and loyalty, because you know that’s what wins in life. If you’re still cheating at this point, you’re either lying about where you’re at or just a total anomaly.
The Collateral Damage of Toxic Relationships
Let me share a quick story about someone I was mentoring. He was young, ambitious, and had potential. But I had to drop him completely because of how toxic his relationship was. His girlfriend was a serial cheater, and yeah, he cheated too, but nowhere near as bad as her. The problem? They were both too fucking stupid to break up. They were draining each other’s mental capacity, fighting constantly, and wasting all their energy on a relationship that was beyond repair.
Here’s the kicker: neither of them was accomplishing anything. Their lifestyle, their goals, their success—it was all sabotaged because they couldn’t get out of their own mess. Toxic relationships don’t just ruin trust—they ruin lives. The mental load of constantly problem-solving a fucked-up relationship leaves no space for growth or progress.
And it’s not just them. I have friends who’ve been dating their girlfriends for years, and some are even married. They cheat and aren’t even ashamed of it. I don’t get it. How can you live your life like that and not feel like you’re poisoning everything around you? It’s like watching someone slowly sabotage their own happiness, and it’s painful to see. I would never. I hope…
What This Means for Relationships and Business
Here’s where it gets personal for me. If someone cheats on their wife, girlfriend, or partner, I automatically think, Can I even trust this person in business? My answer is no—at least not fully. Loyalty isn’t something you can compartmentalize. If you’re shady in one area of your life, you’re probably shady everywhere.
For me, loyalty and trust are the foundation of everything. And yeah, maybe that makes me idealistic, but fuck it—it’s how I operate. I’m not saying I won’t work with someone who’s cheated, but I’ll keep them at arm’s length. Trusting them blindly? That’s off the table.
This ties into Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. At the lower levels of the pyramid, people are stuck in survival mode. They’re chasing quick wins and instant gratification. But as you climb to self-actualization, you start caring about your legacy, your integrity, and the impact you leave on the people around you. Cheating is a move for people stuck at the bottom. Period.
Honesty Is the Real Cheat Code
Let me get real about this. My experience with transparency and honesty has been game-changing, especially in business. I’ve been able to befriend and get information from all sorts of people without having anything tangible to offer them. These people don’t need to talk to me, help me, or share their insights—yet they do. Why? Because I’m honest.
Here’s an example: I had a friend fly out to California just to meet me. Not only that, he paid for my food and transportation. I’ve had another friend spend thousands of dollars on me at the club when I invited a girl I liked to hang out. These aren’t things you can fake your way into. They happen because honesty builds trust, and trust creates opportunities you can’t buy or scheme your way into.
The real power of honesty? It’s the ability to foster blind trust—the kind of trust where decisions and actions aren’t constantly questioned. A lot of rich and successful people I’ve worked with or befriended operate like this. They build relationships with people they never have to second-guess. When you know someone’s word is solid, you can move faster, make decisions quicker, and avoid the mental toll of arguing, second-guessing, and stressing over every little thing. That’s the true competitive edge of trust.
This is why Sam Parr’s post about honesty hit me so hard. The most successful people—the ones who really win—are ruthlessly honest. Why? Because honesty is efficient. Lies and cheating? They’re fucking exhausting. Once trust is broken, everything gets harder. You’re constantly covering your tracks, managing fallout, and wasting energy. Who has time for that?
And let me be absolutely clear: I could never do this—cheating—to someone I love. The idea of intentionally hurting someone who trusts me, who I want to spend my life with, is beyond stupid. It’s like taking a sledgehammer to the foundation of your own house. Arguments and drama? They’re not fun. They’re not living life. They’re just ridiculous, low-quality bullshit. If you’re willing to take that kind of risk, it’s because you don’t care if the relationship burns down—and that’s not love. That’s sabotage.
Let me get real about this. My experience with transparency and honesty has been game-changing, especially in business. I’ve been able to befriend and get information from all sorts of people without having anything tangible to offer them. These people don’t need to talk to me, help me, or share their insights—yet they do. Why? Because I’m honest.
So, Why Do People Cheat?
This brings me back to the big question: Why do people cheat? Is it because they’re dumb? Nah. Plenty of cheaters are smart and even hyper-successful. The real reason is they’re stuck in lower levels of development. They’re thinking small, operating in scarcity mode, and chasing the next dopamine hit instead of building something meaningful.
And yeah, society doesn’t help. We glorify instant gratification, quick wins, and “get yours” culture. But that’s exactly why we’re drowning in toxic relationships and broken trust. People aren’t being taught to think bigger.
Final Thoughts
Cheating, whether in your personal life or your career, is a reflection of where you’re at mentally. It’s low-level thinking—the kind that sabotages trust and relationships. And yeah, this post might piss off some people I know. But honestly? I don’t care. High-quality people—the ones who matter—are the ones who will actually take the time to engage with this and reflect.
For me, loyalty isn’t just a value—it’s a strategy. I want to build relationships, businesses, and a life that can stand the test of time. That all starts with trust.
So, if you’re cheating—on your partner, your friends, or your business—you’re playing a small game. Life’s too short for that shit. Build better, think bigger, and stop settling for shortcuts. The real flex? Loyalty. Always.: A Levels of Thinking Perspective
Cheating in relationships — personal or professional — is some of the most toxic shit you can do. And let me tell you, that’s just not me. This post isn’t about me sitting on a moral high horse; it’s about unpacking why cheating is so damn frustrating and why people do it in the first place. It’s gross, it’s unnecessary, and frankly, it’s a sign of low-level thinking.